When I first practiced spirit work around 13 years ago, I ran into quite a few malicious spirits. I was naive, arrogant, and lacked supervision, so I fell for a lot of their tricks. Now, I know how to detect when spirits might have an ulterior motive. Based on my experiences, plus the experiences that other practitioners have shared with me, I’ve put together a list of red flags.

1. It sounds too good to be true. Some spirits approach magicians with claims of grandeur. They might say that you are their queen/king, that you are gifted, or that you are the “chosen one” or “only one who can help them.” This is especially common with new spirit workers. Take it from a crone: If it sounds too good to be true, it is. We all love to be complimented, and spirits who go out of their way to flatter you are probably manipulating you.
   
2. They’re being purposefully vague. “I need you to help me.” With what? “Something bad will happen.” What will happen? “Your ancestor wants to talk to you.” Which ancestor? Many new spirit workers mistake vagueness for their inability to understand spirits. This is another way that an evil spirit can manipulate you. If a spirit genuinely needs your help or wants to give you information, they will find a way to tell you clearly. I guarantee it. 
   
3. They guilt-trip you. One of the most common manipulation tactics that spirits use is to claim that they need help, and that you’re the only person who can do it. Predators use this to get victims, too. When I aid the dead, they are usually very grateful. But if the spirit does not act grateful and continues to push, beware. 
   
4. They’re giving you different answers each time. This is a huge red flag, especially for people who contact spirits through divination. When you first start working with a spirit, write down questions to ask them. When the spirit answers, jot down the answers. The next day, ask them the same questions. If the answers are different, then either the spirit is lying to you or you need to work on your divination skills. 
   
5. You feel awful after working with them. If you want to work with ancestors, heed this tip! You are never required to work with spirits who make you feel awful, even if they’re family. Sure, the spirit might not be intentionally making you feel bad. But at the risk of sounding New-Agey, why waste your time on that negative energy?
   

Your gut is screaming, “wait!” Just as you should follow your intuition around creepy people, you should do the same for spirits. ​

On the first Saturday of every month, I asked my subscribers what questions they have about death witchcraft, magic, or Paganism. They submitted many amazing and intelligent questions. Here, I've answered five of them.

Witchcraft generally divides ancestors into two broad categories: the Beloved Dead and the Mighty Dead. For this post, we're going to focus on the Beloved Dead, which are familial ancestors.

Who are the Beloved Dead?

The Beloved Dead are what most people think of when they hear "ancestors": family members who have long since passed. Although the Beloved Dead are often called the "ancestors of blood," they don't require blood relations. Familial dead also include adoptive families and in-laws. After all, family is family.

Some people divide the Beloved Dead into subcategories, such as the Ancestors of Milk and Honey (in-laws). For this post, I'll refer to all of them as your familial ancestors.

What if I don't know my ancestors?

If you don't know your ancestral line, don't fret. In my experience within the community, most witches ask ancestors to come to them. You don't need to have met your ancestors, or even know their name, to work with them.

Ancestors can be contacted in two ways: communicating with specific souls, or calling out whoever wishes to respond. I'll cover both of these methods later.

On Abusive Ancestors.

When discussing ancestor work, one of the main topics that pops up is abusive family members. In fact, this is one reason why people contact the Beloved Dead: to achieve clarity and healing for previous trauma.

If you're going to contact abusive ancestors, keep two things in mind: (1) the dead may carry their attitude with them, BUT can also receive clarity in death; (2) you don't HAVE to contact them. Communicating with rude or uncooperative spirits is emotionally taxing. Don't risk your health or happiness over it.

Sometimes, an ancestor may turn out to be rude, manipulative, or stubborn. Don't feel the need to continue with this soul. You are never obligated to heal or put up with taxing spirits. If a relationship turns too sour, don't hesitate to contact a different ancestor.

What if my ancestors have a different religion?

This is one of the most common questions I receive about ancestor work, and it's a valid concern. Most new spirit workers worry that their ancestors won't cooperate due to religious differences. While this is sometimes the case, I've learned that many souls--even hardcore Christian souls in life--are surprisingly lenient in death.

When I first worked with my grandfather, a devout Catholic, he was more than happy lend me graveyard dirt for my magic. To him, it was like giving me a sweater when he was alive. He felt happy to give his granddaughter presents again.

As you can probably tell, my ancestral line is Irish Catholic. While some of them refuse to partake in witchcraft, others gladly participate once they learn that it's for my own protection, healing, profit, etc. My main piece of advise is this: Don't decide whether or not they'll participate before they do.

How to contact the Beloved Dead

You have a closer link to the Beloved Dead than any other ancestor. As such, they're fairly easy to contact (in comparison to other spirits).

Much of spirit work requires a physical link to the soul, and ancestor magic is no different. One option is to use your ancestor's graveyard dirt (sometimes called ancestor powder). If you have your ancestor's ashes, these work similarly. Another option is to use family heirlooms. Old photographs, books, tea sets, clothes, furniture--any heirloom should do the trick. You'll have an easier time signaling the Beloved Dead if you have a direct link to their soul.

If you own some of these, harness their energy before communicating with the Beloved Dead. For instance, focus on the energy while calling your ancestors to you. I highly recommend using these objects during divination. If you know your ancestor's name, call it out, and clarify "of the ___ family" (to prevent souls of the same name from arriving). If you don't know their names, ask for an ancestor of the ____ family to come. Evoke the Beloved Dead through a ritual with offerings and, of course, adequate spiritual protection.

If you don't have your ancestor's heirlooms or graveyard dirt, you can achieve this without them. A piece of yourself--such as a hair clipping or finger nail--can go a long way. Remember, you're blood-related to the Beloved Dead.

Offerings For The Beloved Dead

Offerings vary depending on ethnicity and culture. Some general offerings include dark bread, cakes, wine, tobacco, milk, water, candles, stones, flowers, artwork, letters, or items that represent their religious faith. Well-fed ancestors are more likely to repay you, whether that be through protecting their offspring, increasing your luck, advising your craft, or pouring their power into your spells. If you can, maintain regular offerings for your ancestors.

But why should I do this?

First and foremost, contacting the Beloved Dead unites you with your family line and traditions. If you feel disconnected from your culture or ethnicity, you may want to work with the Beloved Dead. In America, many descendants of immigrations feel stripped of their ancestral roots. The Beloved Dead teach you how to reconnect with them (as well as the Mighty Dead).

Second, ancestors are more likely to help you than other spirits. Powerful, well-known spirits have a lot of people knocking on their door, but few practitioners are summoning your great-grandmother. Your familial ties guarantee that you already have something in common. The Beloved Dead can become valuable allies and guides for your craft.

Third, the Beloved Dead are easier to contact than other deceased souls. There's a higher chance that they'll respond and get along with you. Finding physical links, offerings, and tools is relatively simply compared to most of death witchcraft. If you're a beginner spirit worker, consider working with the Beloved Dead.

Consider this post to be a primer, one that will kickstart your work with the Beloved Dead. To learn more, research more ancestor sources and your culture's funerary traditions.

In the death work community, most people emphasize gathering graveyard dirt and bones. Yes, these tools are significant: they connect us with the deceased when we're outside of a cemetery. But in my practice, I rarely collect graveyard dirt when I visit the dead's resting place. Instead, I practice other forms of devotion, spirit communication, and magic.

I don't recommend packing up grave dirt during your first trip to the cemetery for a couple of reasons:

1. you don't know the cemetery yet;
2. you need to be absolutely sure that you want to work with a certain spirit, because once you collect the dirt, you're responsible for dealing with that spirit afterward.

On my tumblr, I've received a lot of questions about how to contact the dead in a cemetery without using a divination vessel. Like any method of spirit work, this connection with the deceased develops through practice. The best way that I can answer this question is to respond with what I, personally, do in graveyards. Every death witch practices differently. Hence, this post is just here to give you ideas about how to advance your death witchcraft.

When I enter a new cemetery, here's what I'll do.

• I explore. I can already hear the chorus of "duh" echoing from across the computer screen, but allow to explain what I'm looking for. Most cemeteries have sections that may or may not be clearly labeled. Older headstones tend to huddle together; babies and young children often get buried in one area. Depending on your path, you may want to focus on one specific section.
• I am silent. I listen. If you're familiar with energy work, this is the time where you want to focus on your own energy and senses. Sometimes, a particular soul or plot will jump out at you, or even call you towards it. To catch these signals, you must concentrate. This is not the time to chat or take pictures (although I understand how tempting picture-taking is).
• I may meditate within the cemetery. If you have a hard time connecting to the graveyard's energy, you'll want to practice a meditation technique. I usually do this under a tree, because these spirits understand their graveyard well, and may inform me on where to go. In my experience, the best technique is to enter a meditative state, and connect your energy to the earth. Once you have a feel for the earth, sense the wind. Both elements are strongly tied to ghosts and will link you to the graveyard.
• I donate offerings and tidy the area. Because we can't take every grave's dirt home, we need to communicate with the dead in other ways. This is a great way to communication with the deceased. For offerings, I usually give coins, small candles, and herbs. But you can also offer flowers and stones as well. Personally, I like granting offerings to effaced or destroyed grave sites: the Forgotten Dead. I also throw away trash and brush off dusty or mud-covered headstones (WITHOUT moving any offerings already present). The deceased usually appreciate the sacrifice and inform me about their lives.
• I may sit with one grave for a long time. Once you explore the cemetery exhaustively, you'll likely locate a grave or two that peaks your interest. I usually remain by these graves for the bulk of my cemetery time--listening, cleaning, gifting, honoring. 
• Even if I don't bring home graveyard dirt, I may perform magic for the spirit once I get home. Depending on my interaction, I may give the spirit further offerings, or perform more magic to help the soul heal or move on. Later on, I'll return the cemetery to confirm whether my spell worked.

While we're talking about cemetery trips, here are some etiquette/safety tips to keep in mind:

• DO NOT sit on top of headstones. It's rude and unsafe.
• If you see a fallen headstone, DO NOT try to upright it yourself. These stones are incredibly heavy and require several people to repair. Instead, contact the cemetery's staff members.
• DO NOT throw away offerings that are already on graves, including dead flowers. Leave that to the cemetery caretakers. However, you may upright a flower pot if it has fallen over.
• If a staff member asks you to move or leave, do as they say.
• DO NOT burn candles or incense inside the cemetery. It may start a fire.
• DO NOT interrupt other peoples' mourning time.

I hope this post inspires you to view cemetery visits as more than a way to gather tools. These visits allow us to communicate with the dead, advance our abilities, and build a reliable reputation with the spirits. I wish you best of luck in your path.

his is what I bring to cemeteries when I want to conduct spirit work there. The box is small enough to fit in my purse. Also, I didn’t paint this beautiful box; the lovely @la-la-laurels painted it. I just added the stickers and bows.

Here’s what is contained in all the little bottles and packages:

• Juniper berries. These are easy offerings to carry around because they’re small and dried. I especially like to give them to any tree or plant spirit I interact with in the cemetery.
• Black salt. This is my protection backup while out. I often throw it over my left shoulder if I feel something following or clinging to me. If you’re wondering how I get it that black: I grind salt with charcoal powder.
• Birthday candles: Tiny, portable candles I can leave at gravesites as offerings. I don’t light them, just leave them. My go-to colors are black, grey, white and red.
• Dried Lavender Flowers. Lavender can calm dead souls and aid their transition to the afterlife. I don’t often carry these because they shed, but they can be left at graves or burned (remotely; don’t burn them inside the cemetery).
• Dimes. Coins of any kind are easy portable offerings for the dead. I choose dimes because they once had Hermes depicted in them.
• Dirt-Rolled Offerings. For lack of a better term, that’s what’s in the plastic bag. I won’t give you my recipe, but you can find the original version in the PGM. Basically, it’s graveyard dirt mixed with crushed incense and herbs and molded into a ball with honey. A messy process, but makes powerful offering.

Sorry for the delay in posting this. Hope it was worth the wait, and you can get some more ideas for your own death witch travel altar!